For my 25th birthday, I bought myself a frog. He was buried in damp soil, in a small plastic container, on a crowded shelf, in a musty pet store. His bright green body was small and plump, and he looked at me with round, froggy eyes. It was love at first sight.
I asked the pet store employee to please set him aside for me and promised I’d be back when his tank was ready. Then, I went home and researched.
“How to take care of a Pacman frog”
“Pacman frog diet”
“Best substrate for a Pacman frog”
“How to tell if a Pacman frog is male or female”
I ordered rocks for his drainage layer, soil for his substrate, a thermometer and humidity meter, and isopods (tiny bugs) to keep his soil clean. This $39 frog became a $390 investment, but I was excited to welcome him home. Finally, all I needed was a name.
As a little girl, my favorite singer was Elton John. I listened to his CDs for hours, watched his cameo on The Muppet Show, and told everyone that I was going to marry him when I was older.
Well, as it turns out, Elton John is gay, and so am I.
So our marriage isn’t in the cards, but Elton’s music has a special place in my heart. In homage to my inner child and one of the world’s greatest musicians, I named my beloved new pet: Elton Frog.
Elton arrived home on my birthday, February 23rd. With gloves on, I lifted him out of the small plastic container and gently placed him in his ten gallon tank. My family crowded around the tank, looking down on this tiny green creature as he took in his new surroundings. Elton cautiously hopped, or rather, lumbered across the moist dirt. My family likes to joke that his first day in the tank was the most activity they’ll ever see from him.
During his weekly tupperware container baths, I talk to Elton and play him songs by his namesake. I feed him different types of prey (he only wants crickets and the occasional meal worm, but I haven’t given up on persuading him to eat a nightcrawler). Once, during a snowstorm, I built him a tiny snowman out of real snow.
As Elton has grown bigger and rounder, his tank has evolved. Today, it contains a small plastic structure (his cave), a plant (his yard), a small dish (his pool), and a small rose quartz statue (his shrine). It also contains leaves scattered across the dirt, and the occasional cricket who has evaded Elton’s thick pink tongue.
Pacman frogs are named after the video game character because, like a Pacman, they have round bodies and wide mouths. Also known as South American horned frogs, their native habitat is the moist forest floor of a humid jungle. But unlike most frogs, Pacman frogs cannot swim. They also cannot climb, and their hops are very slow and clumsy. Their movement of choice is to kick their back legs, wiggle their butts, and slowly bury themselves into the dirt. And then, with only the tops of their heads above the ground, they sit. They sit, and sit, and occasionally leave their hole to bathe in a shallow pool, and then they return to their hole and sit.
Pacman frogs are so sedentary that they are often jokingly referred to as “pet rocks”.
So why do I derive such pleasure from misting him with water and watching him sit in his tank? In short, it’s satisfying to care for this little creature, and his sedentary nature serves as a calming constant in my busy life.
Since adopting Elton, I’ve plowed forward in my graduate program and my career. I’ve experienced a personal health scare, nauseating election results, changes in my relationships, and the never-ending ups and downs of daily life.
And through it all, Elton sits. I can trust that when I get home each day, he’ll be there in his damp soil, unfazed by any current events, family drama, or stress. Through it all, he’s plump and precious, grumpy and green. In a world full of change, Elton is predictable.
The REAL Elton Frog
For as long as she can remember, Elizabeth Eakes has loved frogs, Elton John, and writing. She is a master’s student in writing, a coffee shop regular, and the proud caretaker of a Pacman frog. She has written a children’s nonfiction book for Sourcebooks (forthcoming).